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For the one everyone leans on

How do you give, and what is it costing you?

Made for coaches, healers, carers, parents and leaders.

Free · about 4 minutes

The Overgiver Profile

Answer for how life feels right now. There are no right answers here, only honest ones.

  • 21 short slider questions, then 2 quick choices about you.
  • You'll get your giving pattern, your battery level, one practice for this week and one next step.
  • Private: it's scored on your device, and nothing is sent unless you ask for your full profile.

Move each slider towards the statement that's more true for you right now. The middle is a fine answer, and a slider only counts once you've touched it.

Part 1 of 4 · How you giveThe way you show up for the people in your life.

When someone I love is struggling, I feel it's my job to fix it.

I can care deeply without making it mine to fix.

I say yes when I mean no, then quietly resent it.

My yes means yes, and my no means no.

I feel guilty when I rest, like I haven't earned it.

I rest without needing to earn it.

I feel other people's emotions as if they were my own.

I can feel with someone and still know what's mine.

Part 1 of 4 · How you giveThe way you show up for the people in your life.

I'll go a long way to avoid conflict or disappointing anyone.

I can let someone be disappointed in me and stay okay.

I hold space for everyone, but no one really holds space for me.

I have people who hold space for me, and I let them.

I often step in before anyone has asked me to.

I wait to be asked, and trust people to find their way.

My worth comes from what I get done for others.

I know my worth whether I'm productive or not.

Part 1 of 4 · How you giveThe way you show up for the people in your life.

If I stop holding everything together, it will all fall apart.

Things can hold without me holding all of them.

If someone close to me is upset, I can't settle until they're okay.

I can stay steady even when someone I love isn't okay.

After giving all day, I numb out with my phone, food or a drink.

I come back to myself in ways that truly restore me.

I become a different person depending on who I'm with.

I'm the same person in every room.

Part 2 of 4 · Your batteryHow full your tank really is, underneath the coping.

I'm tired in a way sleep doesn't fix.

Sleep restores me.

I get through the day on caffeine, sugar or adrenaline.

My energy is steady without pushing it.

Small things set me off, then I feel bad about it.

I have room for life's small frictions.

Part 2 of 4 · Your batteryHow full your tank really is, underneath the coping.

My body keeps sending signals I ignore: aches, gut, headaches, getting sick.

My body feels well, and I listen when it speaks.

I feel flat or numb where I used to feel joy.

I still feel joy and look forward to things.

I can't remember the last time I felt truly rested.

I regularly feel rested and refilled.

Part 3 of 4 · How you receiveHow easily you let help, care and money in.

When someone offers help, I say "I'm fine" even when I'm not.

I say yes to help when I need it.

Compliments, care or gifts make me uncomfortable.

I can let care in and enjoy it.

Charging properly or asking for money feels wrong.

I can ask for, and receive, a fair exchange.

Part 4 of 4 · About youTwo quick choices to personalise your profile. They aren't scored.
Who leans on you most?

Pick one.

Where is your giving costing you most?

Pick up to two.

How the profile works

The profile looks at four ways of giving: the Rescuer, the Peacekeeper, the Provider and the Space-Holder. Each one began as a protective strategy, a smart way to stay safe and connected, and each has a gift worth keeping. Most people have one main pattern, often with a streak of another.

Your battery shows what the giving is costing you right now, across five levels: Abundance, Maintenance, Compensation, Survival and Collapse. It's based on Jeremy's 5 Levels of Energetic Depletion, and it shapes the next step the profile suggests.

Receiving matters as much as giving. When help, care and fair exchange can't get in, your battery has fewer ways to refill.

It's a snapshot, not a verdict, and it isn't a diagnosis. Patterns can soften and batteries can recharge, so take it again in a month and see what's moved.

The four patterns

  • The Rescuer

    You step in before anyone has to ask.

    The belief underneath
    I'm only okay when everyone's okay.
    The gift in it
    Capable, responsive, the first to show up.

  • The Peacekeeper

    Everyone feels at ease around you. Except, often, you.

    The belief underneath
    If I upset anyone, I'm not safe.
    The gift in it
    Attuned, diplomatic, makes people feel at ease.

  • The Provider

    You hold it all together, and rest feels unearned.

    The belief underneath
    My worth is what I get done.
    The gift in it
    Reliable, devoted, gets things done.

  • The Space-Holder

    You hold space for everyone. Who holds space for you?

    The belief underneath
    Their pain matters more than mine.
    The gift in it
    Deep presence. People heal around you.

The five battery levels

  1. Abundance Full

    Light, capable, present. Giving from overflow.

  2. Maintenance 80%

    Managing well, but it takes effort. Slightly rushed. Craving wind-down time.

  3. Compensation 50%

    Wired and foggy. Overcommitted. Numbing out. Running on sugar or caffeine.

  4. Survival 20%

    Exhausted and anxious. Life feels like too much. Withdrawing.

  5. Collapse Empty

    Numb and flat. A shell of yourself. Grieving who you used to be.